Monday, August 09, 2004

News From the Front

The moth war rages on. The real news, though, is the discovery of a new weapon that (I hope) will settle the score once and for all. Researchers (aka, me) have been experimenting with various spray technologies to defeat the moth threat. As mentioned in a previous report, I'm trying to limit the spraying of pesticides throughout our home. Also, I'm never sure if it does the trick, since the moths usually are able to fly away. I'm assuming that they flutter off to expire out of sight, but these are uncomfirmed kills. The squirt bottle full of water only seems to annoy them (although it is fun and helps to improve my aim). Lysol has the same level of uncertainty as the poison spray. But, I've finally found the super-weapon.


It drops those little guys like there's no tomorrow. I'm not sure why I didn't think to try it sooner. (Maybe I haven't watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding enough times?) The only drawback is that it requires closer range, but man, talk about results. This weapon, combined with the ruthless kitchen cleaning blitzkrieg and the insidious glue traps, will surely lead to our decisive victory. The moths were able to gain a foothold in the breadbox while we were out of town this weekend. (It must have been something we missed, something not in the plans.) But their assault was short-lived. The weight of inevitability is crashing down on them. Resistance is futile.

In related news, I've discovered a few spiders as well, but they will prove useful against the moth foe. I'm contemplating an alliance with the big, Shelob-esque ones that live in the bushes and breezeways around our apartment. Little do they know that I am planning to break our Non-Agression Pact at an opportune time...

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