Friday, January 14, 2011

Building Cathedrals

Seven years and two days ago we started writing on this blog. We named it Team Redd because some friends gave us the nickname. It stuck. You might notice the Star Wars reference in the header. Think "Red Leader." Yep, we are geeks. But it fits. At the time, we had been married a short while and hadn't dreamt of expanding our family. It was just us. We're up to Redd-4 now.

Back then, blogging was just becoming popular and soon hit its stride. Some say with the advent of Facebook and Twitter and other social media that blogging is dead. My Google Reader and Bloglines tell a different story, but no longer are the posts so self-centered. Now the bloggers that survive give you tips and tricks, useful information. The mom bloggers or the cheapskate bloggers or the technology bloggers. There are still Christian bloggers (I avoid those who like to pick fights) and even tell-all bloggers and celebrity-smitten fan blogs. Here, though, very little could be described as "informative" writing. We've discussed books, music, small children, theology, television, family, happenings and the occasional recipe. And lately, not much of that.

But, somehow, I keep getting drawn back into writing something, usually late at night or during naptime when I should probably be doing something else, like sleeping. Or tutoring. I know maybe three people still check this blog, and I'm married to one of you.

I admit that I'm the one who really wanted to start this thing, so I've always felt a burden to keep it up. Gaines has had his share of awesome posts and I always wish he would write more because I like to know more about what's inside his brain and the wisdom and hilarity that come forth. Still, I think I used to write here to validate my existence. Not so much once the boys came along -- then I always had the excuse that I was "too busy" to post much. But before, when it was just me, I think I wanted people to see that I actually did something, thought something, had a life outside of the everyday me.

But a friend sent me this video again today. I'm sure you've seen it. It's called "The Invisible Woman." I'd like to label it "Building Cathedrals," since that's really what it's all about. How no one but God knows the names of the builders of the great European cathedrals and how for many of them, God is the only one who will ever see their handiwork. Even they never got to see the end result of their labors, the stone buildings that took centuries to become fully realized.

For me, the thought unlocked freedom not only in my life but also with my writing. Of course, I still write many things that no one will ever see, scrawls in journals or in Word documents that I hope to destroy long before I pass from this life. But here, in this "public space" called the internet, I have this desire to craft words. And when I was writing for an audience, however small or imagined, it was always more of a load to bear. What will people think? What will they say about these thoughts in my head? Did I spell everything correctly?

Today, though, once I watched that video, I decided to just start writing again. Just for the sheer joy of it. And yes, I always need a good editor -- the length of this post being proof of that -- but I'll try my best to keep future posts to a reasonable length. I just want to write. To whoever reads this. Like little letters from my life to yours. (With correct grammatical restraints, of course.) I hope I'm entering into a New Way in this eighth year of our blog. We shall see.


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